livelife-and-dietrying:

I’m killing myself tonight.

You know, I know how it feels to have your whole world fall apart. I know what it’s like to lose almost everyone you care about like that. And I’m telling you, it will get better. Will you ever be able to go back to how you were before? No. That hurt will always be there, but one day you’ll wake up and it’ll just be a part of you. A weight you don’t mind carrying anymore. Trust me, I’ve been alone, I’ve been depressed, and I know what it’s like. And when people tell you “it’ll get better,” you think “how? do you know what i’m going through? how could you possibly understand how i’m feeling?” But I know what it’s like to give yourself so completely to someone, to put your heart in their hand; to trust them with your soul, and to have them throw it away like it means absolutely nothing. You just feel totally and completely empty, like you’ve lost the strength to cope, and you wonder how you’ll ever get through it. But I promise you, you will. You really will. And in a few years, you’ll look back and be glad you hung on just that little bit longer; dragged yourself on when it seemed like all hope was gone. Because you will find it again. At first it’s just some small shred; you cling to it, and then slowly it drifts back to you. Will it ever come back completely? No. But it will. And you’ll find yourself a stronger person. And then you learn to find happiness again. In small things at first, and then you start to see the color in the world. And you’ll be happy you didn’t give up.

You can talk to me if you need to, about anything. I’ll be here to help if you need me (no seriously, computer is my life: online school and tumblr) I can give you my e-mail address, if you want it too. Just talk to me. It always helps to have someone to talk to. Aaaaand… yeah. Didn’t use the ask cause, well, not even half of this would fit xD

ecstaticwave:

And then I’m completely fine in the morning. This cycles goes on, and on and on. I don’t understand it.